Comments

• Are you kidding me? I can't quite tell if this is a joke or not. I want to believe that it is, but I'm worried that it isn't. This has to be the worst parenting advice I've ever read! I'm new to this magazine, but this has taken its credibility down to a zero for me.
  
  Here's a little rewrite for you...10 opportunities to actually parent your children.
  
  1. "We need to have a talk about your behavior." Follow through on set consequences. If your child doesn't take you seriously, the Tooth Fairy isn't going to be there to pick up your slack. What the heck are you going to do when your child no longer believes in Santa and you've been using him as a disciplinary crutch?
  2. "You need to take care of your belongings by putting them in their proper places." Teach your children to actually value and respect their material possessions. (Seriously, you're advocating SCARING children into keeping their rooms clean?)
  3. "Mommy and Daddy don't always agree about things, and we are sorry that things have gotten out of hand." Don't scream at your partner, even when the kids aren't home. It's disrespectful and unproductive. I agree that arguing in front of children can be harmful, but trying to play conflict off as something it's not isn't helpful.
  4. "Mommy and Daddy were making love." Be honest with your children about sex. And maybe they will be honest with you down the road. There are age-appropriate ways to talk about sex, if you just do your homework.
  5. "Reading books is an exciting way to learn new things and to experience the world." I'm all for promoting reading, but this is a pretty unrealistic expectation to be promoting, don't you think? There are other ways to teach lifelong learning to children, including doing some reading of your own. Chances are, your kid isn't going to be a millionaire.
  6. "Yes, those things can happen here, but they are extremely unlikely to." What happens when something does go wrong, and your child feels totally betrayed by the one person who he should be able to count on? Shouldn't we be teaching our kids how to negotiate the world around them, rather than lying to them about it?
  7. "I'm not sure, let's look it up." Face it, there's no way to know everything, and pretending to is a good way to look like an idiot once your kids figure you out. How about teaching our children to seek the truth and to research life's questions? (The important thing is that your children believe it...?! Really?)
  8. "There are a lot of reasons that man is homeless, but I don't know for sure why."/"Eating vegetables is important because our bodies need the nutrients to grow and stay healthy." Homelessness is a serious issue, and it's absurd to link homelessness with a lack of childhood vegetable consumption. That lie doesn't teach anything about cause and effect. It's just a lie that uses the plight of another person to get out of teaching your kids about healthy eating.
  9. "Parents get scared sometimes, too, but this is what we're going to do about this situation." Fear is a natural human emotion. Denying to our children that we experience the same emotions teaches them that some emotions aren't okay to have.
  10. "This is an adult beverage, and it would hurt your little body." This one wasn't so bad, but calling alcohol juice seems a little shady to me.
  
  Children have so many opportunities to be lied to by other people--shouldn't they be able to count on their parents to tell them the truth? Since when did producing a positive outcome outweigh honesty?
  
  Please tell me that this is a joke, and that I've simply overreacted.

  Posted by: Brooke on January 7, 10:22pm

• I totally agree with Brooke. I'm new to the site (first time reading it!), and really hope this post was a joke, but since there's been no response to Brooke's post (which, I think was fantastic and really good sound advice for parents), I decided to write to and ask for a clarification.

  Posted by: DGB on February 11, 11:30pm

• I posted a comment earlier, but for whatever reason it is not showing up. Even if this is a joke it is ridiculous. There are some parents who read your magazine for real advice and this article is terrible advice. It is clearly written by a person who does not have an interested in taking the necessary time to parent their children. Equating homelessness to not eating vegetables is, at best, disgusting. We should instead teach our children tolerance and sympathy for people less fortunate, or who potentally suffer mental illness. I am sure judgement is the last think we should teach our children! Equating reading to becoming a millionaire is crap, as well! I want my children to read to experience the joy of books and learn about the world. I have zero desire to encourage my children to read for the lofty goal of making millions!
  Even if this is a joke, it is not funny, AT ALL!

  Posted by: Brenda on March 12, 4:02pm

• That's the Internet generation for you, cannot tell a joke if it doesn't have a smiley at the end of it and wouldn't know what satire is if it was clearly marked with a Dyno label.

  Posted by: Michal on May 17, 8:35am

• The only thing wrong is that didn't put the age of the children they are refering to. Tell a 3 year old about sex? The commenters are joking, right? Get a clue, any kid that still believes in Santa and the toothfairy has to be very young.
  
  If you think a preteen could fall for these lies, you don't deal with children much.

  Posted by: russell on May 17, 9:18am

• easy folks if this is where you are getting your parenting tactics you have bigger issues. of course its a joke...relax, lighten up, breathe lol.

  Posted by: cammy on May 17, 9:44am

• This article is bizarre, is this meant to be funny? I think this is in pretty poor taste. Threats lies and bribery aren't the only tools in the parenting arsenal.

  Posted by: Jamie on May 17, 3:05pm

• Jeez guys, lighten up. Who talks to their kids like that? Muumu and daddy were making love?!?! Whatever, try explaining to them that grandme and grandpa do that too without it seeming creepy!

  Posted by: Nick on May 17, 5:55pm